Things that have helped me heal (that aren’t trauma therapy) | Healing is the Best Revenge Episode #23 transcript

Feb 21

Welcome to Healing is the Best Revenge, a podcast for survivors and the folks who love us, where we discuss the politics of survivorship, healing, and self and community care. This is a space where we honor the messy and complex realities of healing from trauma, rejecting pedestals and perfectionism along the way.

Hi, I’m your host, Karina Hagelin. I’m a survivor with complex post-traumatic stress disorder AKA C-PTSD and, I get it. I’m here to offer affirmations, pep talks, encouragement, support, and conversations about being in the messy murky middle of healing from trauma. Wherever you’re at in your journey, I believe in you. And I believe you. Welcome to Healing is the Best Revenge, sweet friend.

Healing is the Best Revenge is a one-person production, created and sponsored by yours truly. Have you checked out my shop? I sell zines on topics like healing, trauma recovery, friendship, disability, affirmations, as well as stickers, prints, and pins! If you love this show, you’ll enjoy my zine series, also titled, Healing is the Best Revenge, which is about radical vulnerability, healing from trauma and abuse, affirmations, and self-compassion. Click to link in the show notes or go to karinahagelin.etsy.com. Now, onto today’s episode.

Hi sweet friend, Karina here. Spring is coming and I’m hoping that when it arrives, I’ll be feeling a little bit better. Winters here are very overcast and cold and dark and none of those things are conducive to me feeling my best. Since I last talked to you, I’ve made two new zines: Friendship as Resistance #4: Queering Valentine’s Day and Trinkets: A Mini-Zine About the Things I Collect. The wall in my workspace is now painted a bright peach color which definitely helps me feel more inspired, creative, energized, and cheerful. Shoutout to my dad who painted it over the weekend for me! Color can be so transformative and so healing.

And/also I’m still struggling with flashbacks, especially emotional flashbacks, and the nightly nightmares and dissociation, but I’m feeling a lot better than I have been. I have to remind myself that the severity of symptoms I have now is still disabling and/also compared to how I felt on a day to day basis ten years ago, even five years ago, the life I’m living now is beyond my wildest dreams. A lot of that is because I don’t experience nonstop chronic suicidality anymore, which is something I’ve dealt with since I was 9 or for over 2 decades of my life. But I’m rambling, so let’s get onto today’s episode, about things that have helped me heal that aren’t trauma therapy.

I don’t believe that trauma therapy is the only thing that can help us heal; there are so many things outside of the mental health industrial complex that can be supportive on our healing journeys. Over the past decade and a half, I’ve been through a lot of different psychiatric treatment programs for trauma. Some were helpful; some were harmful. Some were voluntary and some were not. Some of the modalities I’ve worked with include:

Intensive trauma therapy
Dialectical behavioral therapy or DBT
Cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT
Peer support
Personalized recovery oriented services
Both inpatient and outpatient hospital-based trauma recovery programs
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing AKA EMDR
Dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy or DDP

Whether psychiatric care isn’t accessible to you or you’re not interested in it because of the very real potential of harm and/or retraumatization, I want to share some things that have helped me heal that aren’t trauma therapy or based in the therapeutic world at all.

Let’s talk about the basics first. It’s really important to take care of ourselves. For me, basic self-care includes drinking enough fluids and staying hydrated; eating regularly; and moving my body in ways that feel good to me, when accessible. If and when you’re not able to practice good self-care or to do it on a regular basis, please don’t shame yourself for that. Personally, eating regularly is a constant battle; like a daily fucking fight, y’all. I’m still recovering from over a decade of living with a restrictive eating disorder. I don’t get hungry or get hunger cues AKA I don’t know I’m hungry and need to eat until I feel like I’m going to pass out. So, we’re all doing the best we can and that’s all we can do.

I also think connection is one of the basics because we heal in community, not isolation. I don’t know what I’d do without friendship, community care, or my cats. Honestly, I wouldn’t still be here without the support of others, especially my three rescue cats, Chickpea, Boo, and Cashew. [Karina sniffles] Ah, a little bit of tears. Connection reminds us we’re not alone and helps show us that other people can be safe. Within relationships, we can practice setting and enforcing boundaries, navigating conflict, as well as both giving and receiving support. Some of the things that help me foster connection are writing snail mail, reading books or zines about the experiences of other survivors and disabled folks, and spending times with friends, going on friend dates and all that jazz, or running errands.

It’s also important to nurture a connection to and with ourselves. Tools and practices like tarot, astrology, and journaling support self-reflection in my life and healing process.

A big source of healing for me is also creativity. This includes things like making zines, crafting, painting, and sharing what I create via my newsletter, this podcast, and my Instagram account. Being able to express ourselves and share our stories on our own terms and our own timeline can be incredibly healing; this is why I started my zine series, Healing is the Best Revenge. Creative pursuits also help us with not only getting to know ourselves but expressing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, making the internal external. My zines have connected me with other survivors who have supported me and who I’ve been able to support as well through my art which is so rewarding and just really special.

Finally, I want to share two of my spicier things on my list of things that have helped me heal which are harm reduction and BDSM. Both of these practices and lifestyles have fostered empowerment, supported my bodily autonomy, and given me opportunities for self-determination and sovereignty. These practices have been helpful in reducing shame - and adding enjoyment and pleasure to my life again - because that’s really important too.

Before I go, I want ask for your help in getting this podcast to more folks who need it.

I’d love it if you could share a screenshot of this podcast to Instagram and tag me in it, subscribe to or follow this show, leave me a five star review or rating, and/or share this show with a loved one. I really want this podcast to reach more people who need it. Thanks for your support!

Okay, sweet friend. As always, I believe you and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye for now!