You're not a burden | Healing is the Best Revenge episode #14 transcript

This is a transcript of episode #14 of my podcast, Healing is the Best Revenge.

Hi, I’m Karina Hagelin and this is Healing is the Best Revenge, a podcast for survivors and the folks who love us, to discuss the politics of survivorship, healing, and community care. This is a space where honor the messy and complex realities of healing from trauma, rejecting pedestals and perfectionism along the way.

This show is sponsored by… me! Have you checked out my online shop?

I create art centered around radical self-love, healing from trauma, vulnerability, friendships as resistance, and moving from surviving to thriving. I have a gorgeous selection of supportive and inspiring zines, colorful stickers, cute pins, uplifting affirmation prints, and even a survivor self-care package with lots of goodies for survivors. Head over to karinahagelin.etsy.com to shop. Be sure to use coupon code “PODCAST10” for 10% off your order. I’ll include a link in the show notes.

Let’s get into today’s episode.

A friend and comrade said they would really like to hear me talk more about my personal experiences as a survivor who is healing. They said it might be helpful for folks - or at least it would be for them. So going forward, I’m going to try to start each episode with a little personal update.

Hi sweet friend, Karina here. It's mid October, nearing the anniversary of the assault, & I'm really struggling. Trauma anniversaries are always so hard because like they say, our bodies remember. My sleep schedule is totally whack between the worse-than-usual nightmares & the insomnia induced by how terrified I am of falling asleep & having them. I wake myself up screaming throughout the night. My voice may sound a little scratchy; that's because I've lost my voice a few times this week alone from crying so much. I feel alone and isolated and messed up. Anyways, I know you get how debilitating and disabling CPTSD can be, especially during traumaversaries.

As I've mentioned before on the podcast, I’ve spent the last 7 or 8 years celebrating my healing process on the day of as a way to combat the isolation and general awfulness. This year, I'm celebrating with peers in my local outpatient program. My therapist, who is also the program director, sent out this email yesterday, titled “Healing is the best revenge Traumaversery Party Friday”. Let me read it to you!

Hi folks!

On Friday from 1-3 we are going to do something new and exciting!  We are going to learn about and practice community care (supporting each other, which also helps us heal!) in a traumaversery celebration!

You can see an example of how this works with Karina's community care plan here.  Please sign up to be part of their care!  This is how we care for each other!  We will all create our own plans at the party!

Trauma has affected many of us in various ways and we all are working hard to learn and practice coping skills to overcome the effects of trauma in our lives.  Here is one more creative and fun way to heal and help others heal too!

Karina introduced me to this idea years ago and is graciously sharing their traumaversery with us.  They will be talking with us about finding celebration and healing after trauma, community care plans and they will they will do a reading from their "Affirmations for Survivors" zine.

In honor of Karina's healing journey, please wear pink!

We will also have pink cupcakes, balloons and self care goodie bags for all attendees!

Here is what we will do:

1-130 - learn about traumaversery celebrations and community care plans

130-2 Write your own care plan! (or WRAP - we will help!)

2-215 Karina does reading of Survivors' affirmations zine and shows us how to fold the zine papers

Eat cupcakes!  Celebrate Karina's 12 year Traumaversery and Revenge through healing!

215-3 - Make your own affirmation zines (or whatever kind you want) and decorate a journal for yourself!  Write a card or note to a friend and we will mail it for you!

RSVP if you can, so I make sure we have enough cupcakes and goodie bags!

I’m so looking forward to this celebration with peers. I’m printing my first zine of survivor affirmations for the goodie bags that my therapist and I are making prior to the party. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes.

Today’s episode is short and sweet, as usual. I want to share a mini affirmation / pep talk with you today.

You’re not a burden

You're not a burden for having needs. You're not a burden for having desires or for wanting more. You're not a burden for existing, for taking up space, for surviving. You're not a burden for demanding better, for yourself or for the collective. You're not a burden for needing other people. You're not a burden for speaking up. You're not a burden for struggling or for needing support. You know why none of these things make you a burden? Because none of us are burdens; people are so many things but no person is a burden, period.

Today, try to remember that you're not a burden, regardless of how you feel.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for you today but before I go, if you’d like to receive notes on radical self-love, healing, & affirmations, you can find a link to subscribe to my newsletter in the show notes. I’d love to have you on the list!

Until next time, sweet friend. & as always, I believe you.